Confidence .... Something We All Have
Have you ever been in a funk and just not felt like doing anything that normally brings you joy?
Have you ever told yourself that there is no point because it will either turn out like crap or no one will think it looks good?
This is what I want to talk about today! Today is the last day of mental health awareness month, so why not talk about this today? (It was when I started to write this anyway)
I have heard these phrases so much lately:
"Why bother, no one wants it!"
"Ugghhh I have zero motivation to do anything!"
"I am so broke, if I craft I won't have money for gas or food. Life sucks and is unfair"
"I have orders to do BUT I don't have the money to get the stuff to finish them."
"I have all these ideas! I just wish I had the confidence like everyone else to do them."
Those are the top five I hear all too often. They are also ones I feel a lot too, so know you are not alone in any or all of these feelings!
When I was younger I had ZERO self-confidence. I was ALWAYS worried about my weight and how I dressed. Always! I never wanted to take risks. I never wanted to put myself out there. So in grade 13 (lol I am totally aging myself here ... this is 5th year of high school), I had an English class and a Law class. BOTH of these classes expected me to stand in front of the class and do a presentation! WHAT? Up to this point, I hated having to even answer a question in class for fear of being wrong AND I was a Math geek, not English!
I chose the easiest thing to speak on (as I didn't really read the book and I knew that for the essay on the exam, I could bullshit my way through it lol). I chose the clothing styles throughout the time period of the book. I believe the book was Great Expectations. I researched and photocopied the images I found. I found on the day of my presentation I did an AMAZING job! Why because I was prepared and figured if I could bullshit my way through an essay, I could do the same with this. I received a fairly decent grade too. Same for my Law class.
My point to this story is that if you prepare you can do anything! If you just fake it for 2 minutes you will get through it! Most importantly as Glennon Doyle says, We can do hard things! I know it is easier to NOT do those things and just go the easy route HOWEVER that won't get you want you are actually looking for.
"Why bother, no one wants it!" The number of times I have thought this myself, OMG, seriously all the damn time! I remember when I was going to my first craft show and was thinking I am doing all of this work and no one is going to want it. Guess what - They DID! I did really well! Does that mean my next show was as successful, no, however, it was still worth doing it.
When I decided to open the store and sell vinyl I went to some business sessions at a company in the area that helps to make sure you are dotting all the i's and crossing all the t's. I was worried that if there is another store or someone else opens near me. The answer was simple. How many hair salons are there in one area, and how many groceries stores or even dentists? The answer is many or rather at least more than 2. They all seem to survive and thrive. I have found the same thing. I have put a spin on how I do business that others don't. Do the same thing with what you want to sell.
Ugghhh I have zero motivation to do anything! I am personally feeling this lately. I have been designated the role of babysitter for my two grandchildren ages 2 years and 7 months. I love them to bits and have zero energy or motivation when they leave at the end of the day. I have also had a very real struggle with my mental health lately, which doesn't help. I mean seriously can't our mental health issues plan things for when so much isn't on our plates ugghhh I don't do anything after they leave regardless that I have a list that is the size of a Harry Potter novel. Oh, I have tons of ideas! I have the Pins Pinned and the Instagram posts saved. I have even bought the cement for one project and the fusible fleece for another. Yet what do I end up doing when they either go home or don't come, more Pinterest and Instagram searching.
How do we get out of this funk though? A friend told me once to just play! Yep get out some paper and draw if that is your thing. Get out your vinyl and cut an image you have already designed and apply it to something different. Open Design Space, once it downloads the 7 millionth update for this week, and then jumps through the stupid errors it has from fixing one thing no one wanted to have fixed., and design something new. OR just pick at random something you have pinned or saved and just do it!
I have orders to do BUT I don't have the money to get the stuff to finish them. AND I am so broke, if I craft I won't have money for gas or food. Life sucks and is unfair!
These two statements sort of go together in a way right now. I know our gas spending has doubled since the jump in gas prices and our grocery bill has increased by at minimum $60 a week. I feel this so much with the store too. Business has been slower and so it is a lot of pay this but not this. I don't use the payment method of Sezzle because it scares me people will get into debt for $40 of vinyl and need more vinyl before they have paid it off. Man, my credit is proof enough that I will pay it off once I have the money. This being said and this is important, if you EVER have an order and need the vinyl in order to get the order finished please message me. Always ask though as there are always discount codes floating around out there for various stores.
I have all these ideas! I just wish I had the confidence like everyone else to do them.
THIS one right here is the one I truly want to talk about though!
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE! I say that with LOVE believe me because I have to say this to myself ALL the DAMN time! We live in a world where all we do is compare ourselves to each other. Do you know that most of the people who are on YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok didn't have a ton of self-confidence when they started? Some of them still don't. I want to share 3 Instagrammers that I LOVE, that I find help with my confidence and make me realize that it is okay to be real because if you know me, you know that I am real. I am honest and I will just tell you. It is nice to know it is okay to be like this because for so long I saw it as a fault. Hell I was told it was a fault. To know that other people just say it is really nice. It is also okay to NOT be like this. Anyway, check them out and let me know what you think.
Did you know that I asked my current husband out on our first date? I totally did. I always thought him way out of my league but we started chatting with each and then started going to get coffee if we had a lunch period together. (We worked at the same school. He was a teacher and I was an EA - not in his classroom - that would have been totally awkward lol) Then one day we were chatting while he was on duty and I blurted out
'Would you like to go and do something together this weekend?'
WTF .... the words came out of my mouth so fast and without ANY thought and I was horrified with myself! What if he said HELL NO woman! or In your dreams! But he didn't!
He said 'Ya that should work. Let me check a few things and I will confirm later.'
HE SAID YESS!!!!!! That took confidence or stupidity ... I am still not sure exactly what it was. But here we are 10 years later and I would do it all over again!
Anyway, let's get back to my first time presenting to a class. While I was nervous and thought I would fail at it, do you know the one thing I love to do now? Speak in public! I used to ASK at church to speak while others ran in the opposite direction when asked. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! So who knows, something that you are scared of or not confident about could be something that you ROCK at and truly LOVE! Do what you are afraid of and do it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Superman t-shirt!
I am so thankful to you guys and truly hope that you get over any and all hurdles you may have right now! If you ever need to run an idea by someone, or rant about the fact that it costs more to go to work than being at work, message me! I am here and it will be nice to hear from another adult, especially on grandkid days lol
Craft like you are the BOSS of it!
Tonya xoxo
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